It's All Fun and Game-Theory Until Someone Gets Hurt
The Playground is but a Microcosm of the World
The Child slumped out of school. Eyes cast down, gait slow, shoulders slouched. Atlas shrugged in size 5T. Something was very, very wrong. A mother knows these things.
After solemn silence, the story unfolded.
“There was a fight on the playground.”
I didn’t say anything.
“There were three of us. Me, A and B.”
I didn’t say anything.
“We were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.”
“Ah,” I said, “Good game.”
“You’re not going to believe this. You need to sit down.”
Not only did I sit down, I put on my seatbelt.
“Are you ready?” (Pause for effect.) “B CHEATED!” The level of indignation was matched only by the time the Child was prohibited from placing a plastic T-rex in a lit fireplace to demonstrate extinction.
“What happened?” I asked.
"I shooted Paper and, and… B … WAITED! Everyone knows you CAN’T WAIT!
I nodded in agreement. This was true.
“What happened?” I was breathless.
“A saw it ALL! A CALLED B on WAITING. But then B LIED and said he DIDN’T!”
These children were face-to-face with their deepest selves, forced to confront the pith of their moral compass, their internal synaptic system ignited as imaginative play threw the gauntlet at executive function. This was probably one of the most profound moments in these children’s young lives. Possibly it would determine their entire futures.
Somewhere between the monkey bars and the big disc, they tapped into those same baser instincts that could start or prevent wars. Rock, paper, scissors is a zero-sum game. There are three possible outcomes: a win, a loss, or a draw. Recognized internationally as the fair way to settle a dispute or make an unbiased group decision, rock, paper, scissors tends toward the Nash Equilibrium because the strategy with the best outcome is to pick each of one of the three options 1/3 of the time. There is, mathematically, no one best option. However, years of research have determined that an element of skill is, in fact, at play. Because human beings are problematic, as the children had inevitably discovered. There are human tendencies, “conditional responses,” based on past results that make us change strategy like the year I switched from ice cream to frozen yogurt for the health benefits.
Rock, paper, scissors has plagued game theorists, mathematicians, and kindergarteners throughout history. It has governed key decisions in the U.S. court system. The landmark ruling in Avista Management v. Wausau Underwriters over the location of a deposition stated the Court would “fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit… counsel shall engage in one (1) game of ‘rock, paper, scissors.’"1 Granted, that was in Florida, but the game has reached the far corners of the fine art world2, influenced video game design, and confounded chimpanzees3 all alike.
One of the ironies of fate is that no one really leaves the lessons of kindergarten behind and that the actors, good and bad, of the global stage are but the objects of their primitive conditional responses.4 Is there hope for humanity?
I asked the kindergartener.
He answered, “Well, then they started punching each other.”
For an in-depth exploration of the history of the game, please refer to the seminal and expansive work, “The Legend of Rock, Paper, Scissors,” as brilliantly dramatized by Drew Dewalt and
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"Exasperated judge resorts to child's game". The Seattle Times. Associated Press. 2006-06-26.
Vogel, Carol (April 29, 2005). "Rock, Paper, Payoff: Child's Play Wins Auction House an Art Sale". The New York Times
https://www.bbc.com/news/av/science-environment-40946194
Jacobs, Harrison (May 05, 2014). https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-beat-anyone-at-rock-paper-scissors-2014-5
I LOVE this story. All the complexities of the world are there.
And the telling of it is so dramatic from his point of view,
and a riot from the author’s point of view!
Great writing, Sasha.
One lesson to learn is that we can play games for the pleasure of the game itself and learning to play to the best of our abilities, not just to win. Good sportsmanship fosters respect and a sense of community.